sorry!

Sorry for not having written in a while.  We had a great Labor Day retreat in Olema over the weekend.  We looked over the 13th chapter of the Gita.  I had some super inspiring discussions with several of the guys there.  One discussion in particular was on the nature of discrimination and dispassion in spurring some good spiritual growth.  I had read a verse in the 4th chapter of the Gita that said nothing beat knowlege for purifying the mind.  We discussed the nature of desire and determined that to be free from desire does not mean that desire disappears from the mind, but that it flows into the mind like a river into the ocean and like the river does not disturb the ocean, so does desire not disturb the mature mind.

We further discussed the idea of the importance of separating one’s identity apart from “mind” and “body.”  This separation allows the desires to flow without affecting the inidividual.  Since the desires become abstract and are not related to the identity of the individual, they demand no action.  An example was presented saying that much like the desires of the guys mind next to you do not demand your attention, so the desires of the mind you have access to do not demand your attention.

Discrimination is the art of determining what is real and what is unreal.  The real is determined to be that which is permanent and the unreal is that which is ever changing.  I keep coming back to this idea in my writings, but I truly have found it to be one of the most productive processes in putting together the foundation of my spiritual life.  Not to mention, SrI Ramakrishna also emphasized the practice.  I have to say it has reduced the power of many of my overwhelming urges over time.

Discrimination can also be the determining of the real nature of what you desire.  You will always find that you only desire things that reflect, to your mind, an attribute of the Divine.  The mind often crosses wires by associating these qualities with their reflection in the apparent world of the senses.  For instance, lust often boils down to a desire for connection and intimacy.  Connection and intimacy are of the mind, not of the body.  If one believes the writings of the sages, true intimacy and connection comes only through the Divine.  “You are That” is thrown around enough as a concept, but what it boils down to is that you are the only fulfillment to your own desires.  You need no external sense object.  They only reflect back your own ideals.  The mind crosses the wire and creates attachement for these things and the illusion of needing them.

That was only a single conversation at the retreat; but, I suppose I should stop here.  It goes much farther than this and its implications are unexpectedly profound.  Onward and upward.

on The Plan

The Gita, in chapter 3, paints an interesting picture for the “intention” of this creation.  Humanity was intended to motivate its actions in honor of “the Devas”.  Devas here means the inhabitants of heaven, namely the gods and goddesses.  For those more squeamish about the idea of Gods/God, it can really mean our highest ideals.  In return, those Devas would be gracious.  Each (man and gods) would thus serve each other selflessly.  Man would live in freedom and karma would not bind him.

It turns out, as many would insist, that the plan was optional.  And, as with all options, many of us opt for it.   Perhaps we do not realize  that we were selling ourselves into bondage to our “needs” and desires based upon our bodies.  Perhaps we realize it and just cant seem to help ourselves because we have established a habit.

Had we not chosen to “steal” from the devas without giving our honor for our part, we would live in delight, satisfaction and peace in the Atman (the Self of all, God).  Instead we provide our ever-burning desires with fuel for which we have to pay in the form of selfish work (ie for paychecks).  We labor endlessly to fulfill our apparent desires and cannot stop, even when we want to.  For a man whose joy is in this lusting, the Gita says “His life is for nothing.”  Literally, he has spent it on the unreal, temporary things of the senses.  He is a child who has purchased a lottery ticket without choosing a number.  His hope of satisfaction is in vain.  At the time of death, as the world of the senses slips away, he has nothing for his continued voyage.

The only thing that keeps this fact from being cruel is that by grace the option is always open.  We are allowed to choose from moment to moment.  And choose we must.  Scriptures, teachers, experience and inference are the tools to help us make the right choices.  Dig deeply in each and reach for your highest ideal.  “Do your duty, always; but without attachment.  That is how a man reaches the ultimate truth; by working without anxiety about results.”  Serve your highest ideal.  Always.

refuge

The Gita, Bible, Koran, numerous enlightened poets and sages have spoken very directly about the importance, nay the insistance, on taking refuge in God alone.  This obvious emphasis is one that has left me pondering why the sages think we are so not-inclined to do it; what it might mean;  and what it looks like in “real life.”

Why the sages think we are so not-inclined to do it…
Since so many scriptures and sages have pointed out the need for taking refuge in God alone, it must be obvious that the vast majority of us are not doing it.  That inspired me to look around to see if I could notice the obvious…ie where am I taking refuge.  Many of my “refuges” became apparent after I joined the monastery as many of them required money and only became obvious when I didn’t have any.  When I was frustrated I went to the movies.  When I was lonely, I threw a dinner party.  When I needed serenity, I went hiking.  When I got tired of circumstance, I travelled.  When I wanted fun, I drank, danced, partied or all of the above.  You would have had to go down a very long list before “Go to God” would have been one of my solutions.  Hence the need for the sages to point out to me the importance of their advice.

What it might mean…
I am/was for the most part faithless.  I did not choose to go to God for any of the “needs” listed above becasue frankly, I had no experience of the divine being a working remedy for any of them.  I remember shortly after my only fellow monk left the monastery quite a few years ago, that I told the abbot in charge that I was lonely.  I was hoping for him to offer me a trip to another monastery for a little time away.  He, however, without so much as a pause said “Go to the shrine.”  He walked away leaving me with one of the newest thoughts in my mind in years.  My list of solutions that I mentioned above became apparent to me in the days that followed this advice.  My “relationship” with the divine was so starved for development that it could not meet any of my demands.  My friendship with the world was greater than my friendship with the divine.  Taking refuge in God means to remedy this dire lack.

What it looks like in real life…
I have been in the habit of taking a one hour walk in the afternoon every day since I joined the monastery about a decade ago.  For the first year, this was interesting.  I would walk out the front door, look at the beautiful view and think of a tantalizing walk for my exercise.  These days EVERY option has been exercised at least 15 times.  I know every street, house, restaurant, bar, retail store, coffee shop, dental office, parking garage, post office, grocery store, dry-cleaners, beach, tree and tourist trap within a half hour meandering of my beloved monastery.  I still enjoy my walks, not because of where I am going, but because I know my satisfaction does not lie in them being interesting.  My relationship with the Divine is at least mature enough to entertain me more than the environs of my one hour walk.  Laugh, if you will, but it has taken me 10 years of monastic life to own this one happy accomplishment.  This is what having a refuge in God means.  I hope to keep growing such that nothing outside of my walk with the Divine is necessary for me to be content with this life.

That last sentence is my conclusion as well, so I have a well-formed, 3-point essay delivered with love.

convicted hypocrite

OUCH!  Man, was I set right this week.  Chapter 3, verse 6 of the Gita:

“He, who is restraining the organs of action, sits revolving in the mind, thoughts regarding objects of sense, he, of deluded understanding, is called a hypocrite.”

I am so guilty of this delusion it isn’t even funny.  I have sat flinching restlessly at this thought for a few days, but resolved to fix it.  The comfort lies in my true nature…ever pure, ever free, ever blissful.  It is the mind that is impure, that needs cleaning.  The senses are above the body, the mind is above the senses, the intellect is above the mind and He, the Atman, is above the intellect.  This hierarchy is the mode of driving change.  Realize the identity with the Atman and its qualitities will manifest down the chain.  Only the pure mind can clearly see the Atman.  Keep your purity firmly in mind, keep the mind firmly planted on the Divine within and all will be set right.  It is, afterall, simply yourself that you are becoming.

It’s a tricky place

Man this world can be a tricky place.  The number of convincing distractions alone is overwhelming!  This week is chapter 3 of the Gita for me.  It has been a few years since I have gone through the Gita, but I have to say I am newly impressed with it.  For a person wanting to develop the highest character and most benenficial personality, it is the bomb.  grin.  I’ll reprint a part of the prose below since they always say it better than I can:

“The raja-guna has two faces,
Rage and lust; the ravenous, the deadly:
Recognize these: they are your enemies.

Smoke hides fire,
Dust hides a mirror,
The womb hides the embryo:
Lust hides the Atman.

Lust hides the Atman in its hungry flames,
The wise man’s faithful foe.

“Intellect, senses and mind
Are fuel to its fire:
Thus it deludes
The dweller in the body,
Bewildering his judgment.

a little more…

I found a bit more help on calming the mind and developing dispassion in the writings of Swami Brahmananda.  He makes several suggestions for getting the mind under control:

1. Eat lightly
2. Don’t miss a single meditation session
3. Think of the cravings and desires of the mind as mere dreams, as unreal
4. Think of yourself as inherently pure and purity will fill your mind
5. Practice with patience and perseverance

His tone is so full of hope and compassion as he speaks.  You really get the sense that God is just around the nearest corner from all of his encouragments each time a student asks a question.  The book is “Eternal Companion” by Swami Brahmananda, if you want to check it out yourself.

from discrimination to dispassion…

I found a grey chest hair this week.  Of course, it “fell out”…and of course that doesn’t change a thing.  I am 43 the the signs of wear and tear are frequent and numerous.  This body goes as have all of the others before it.  The interesting thing is that for every beautiful person growing ugly from age, there is a new representative of beauty behind them.  Beauty is always representated.  That is putting the eye on an unchangeable…which makes one suspect the Divine is lingering somewhere nearby.

That is all by the wayside.  I’m more concerned with how to turn my discrimination into dispassion.  The mind seems to have a stubborn refusal to accept the obvious conclusions of a good discrimination session.  One can easily see the futility of seeking sense objects and the thin, temporary layer that makes them appealing.  One can easily understand that the fruit from most of them is sweet in the mouth but bitter to the stomach.  How is it then that the mind refuses to stop processing the obvious spam as legitimate email?

The only answer I can come up with is persistent, repetitive discrimination.  It must be the weight of processing those attachments a certain way for so many years that has worn huge grooves in the mind that the water just cant jump over.  Anyway, the Master referring to Swami Vivekananda as a man walking with the sword of discrimination drawn in front of Him is what gives me the idea.  If you have any good scriptures or ideas, put them in the comments!

from physics with faith…

I read an article on the new Large Hadron Collider in europe and stumbled on some interesting tidbits about the world in which we apparently live.  I leave them for your amazement:

“If there’s one truly extraordinary concept to emerge from the past century of [physics] inquiry, it’s that the cosmos we see was once smaller than an atom…

“How does an infinitely dense universe become a vast and spacious one?  And how is it filled with matter?  In theory, as the early universe expanded, energy should have condensed into equal amounts of matter and antimatter, which would then have annihilated each other on contact, reverting to pure energy.  On paper, the universe should be empty.  But it’s full of stars and planets and charming French villages and so on…”

–National Geographic, March 2008, pp 100-01

Time, space and causation are not a fact.  The world we live in is merely a composite of information.  The rest is interpreted by mind and we inhabit its creation.  Lesson 1 of advaita vedanta.  grin.

a favorite

this quote from the gita is one of my favorites and one that i’m actually trying to memorize.  Arjuna(the warrior) asks Krishna (the Lord):

“…how can one identify a man who is firmly established and absorbed in Brahman (God)?”

to which he gets this lengthy but beautiful response:

“He knows bliss in the Atman
And wants nothing else.
Cravings torment the heart:
He renounces cravings.
I call him illumined.

Not shaken by adversity,
Not hankering after happiness:
Free from fear, free from anger,
Free from things of desire.
I call him a seer, and illumined.

The bonds of his flesh are broken.
He is lucky, and does not rejoice:
He is unlucky, and does not weep.
I call him illumined.

The tortoise can draw in its legs:
The seer can draw in his senses.
I call him illumined.

The abstinent run away from what they desire
But carry their desires with them:
When a man enters Reality,
He leaves his desires behind him.

Even a mind that knows the path
Can be dragged from the path:
The senses are so unruly.
But he controls the senses
And recollects the mind
And fixes it on me.
I call him illumined.

Thinking about sense-objects
Will attach you to sense-objects;
Grow attached, and you become addicted;
Thwart your addiction, it turns to anger;
Be angry, and you confuse your mind;
Confuse you mind, you forget the lesson of experience;
Forget experience, you lose discrimination;
Lose discrimination, and you miss life’s only purpose.

When he has no lust, no hatred,
A man walks safely among things of lust and hatred.
To obey the Atman (inner Spirit)
Is his peaceful joy:
Sorrow melts
Into that clear peace:
His quiet mind
Is soon established in peace.

The uncontrolled mind
Does not guess that the Atman is present:
How can it meditate?
Without meditation, where is peace?
Without peace, where is happiness?

The wind turns a ship
From it course upon the waters:
The wandering winds of the senses
Cast man’s mind adrift
And turn his better judgment from its course.
When a man can still the senses
I call him illumined.

The recollected mind is awake
In the knowledge of the Atman
Which is dark night to the ignorant:
The ignorant are awake in their sense-life
Which they think is daylight:
To the seer it is darkness.

Water flows continually into the ocean
But the ocean is never disturbed:
Desire flows into the mind of the seer
But he is never disturbed.
The seer knows peace:
The man who stirs up his own lust
Can never know peace.
He knows peace who has forgotten desire.
He lives without craving:
Free from ego, free from pride.

This is the state of enlightenment in Brahman:
A man does not fall back from it
Into delusion.
Even at the moment of death
He is alive in that enlightenment:
Brahman and he are one.”

-Gita, end of chapter 2

foolish questions…

“Never ask that foolish question: What good will our love of God do the world?  Let the world go.  Love and ask nothing; love and look for nothing further.  Love and forget all the ‘isms.’  Drink the cup of love and become mad.  Say, ‘Yours, O Yours for ever, O Lord!’ and plunge in, forgetting all else.  The very essence of God is love.  Seeing a cat loving her kittens, stand and pray.  God has become manifest there–literally believe this.  Repeat ‘I am Yours, I am Yours’; for we can see God everywhere.  Do not seek Him; just see Him.

“May the Lord–the Light of the world, the Soul of the Universe–ever protect you!”

–Swami Vivekananda

What could I add?  It is a game of hide and seek today.  You will find the hidden God everywhere.